Born in the year of the frog

Frogs are known for their disloyalty and their amphibious ability to change their political views in the blink of an eye.

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Malaysia is a colourful country. It is a melting pot of diverse cultures and sometimes we have crude ways to describe certain scenarios with the use of animals and insects. Even in politics these creatures are used to depict a vivid picture that speaks more than a thousand words.

Mosquitoes are pests, but it is used to describe political parties that have a small membership. But even mosquito parties that are friendly to the ruling government are rewarded with senatorship and other senior government posts.

Dogs are regularly used in the political arena to describe the act of sucking up to certain leaders in the hope of getting rewards, as these cute animals are known to show their unabashed affection to their owners by lapping.

Crocodiles are dangerous especially the two legged ones, who are dressed like men in black. These crocodiles wouldn’t hesitate to swallow you whole if you ever cross them.

Snakes are used to describe politicians who love to flip-flop, twist and turn and go around the mulberry bush, but always ending back in square one.

Cows are used to describe politicians who are brain-dead, mooing in the fields to remind others that they are not dumb. These are the ones that will consume every inch of grass until the land becomes infertile, and then they will look for greener pastures.

Chickens, especially headless ones, are used to describe political parties that operate without a credible leader.

The characteristics of a frog

But the most controversial of these creatures are the amphibious frogs. Frogs come in all shapes and sizes. Some look like poisonous toads, while some frogs can hop from one pond to another and then back again.

Frogs are known for their disloyalty and their amphibious ability to change their political views in the blink of an eye. They are experts at double-talk and making U-turns while hopping in mid-air. They are also known to be deadly pawns in the re-takeovers of state governments.

But frogs have one thing in common. They have a mutual understanding among fellow-frogs that they should remain independent. This is to prevent others from badmouthing their intentions or to blame them for the fall of state governments.

They tend to segregate among themselves in Parliament, and croak against their individual parties while trying to sound independent.

The kiss of life

But frogs unlike other creatures, are blessed with the ability to change into a prince and princess, once they get the Kiss of Life. Yes, they will automatically get to inherit untold wealth and super bungalows that are more comfortable than summer palaces. Even state-of-the art horse chariots like Mercedes Benz instead of the Toyota Camrys and Proton Perdanas that the common people use.

Most frogs share the same characteristics. They are usually undisciplined, immoral and are open to blackmail. Some of them are hopelessly in debt. They have long tongues so they croak loosely and lap well. They have long hind legs that try to balance themselves on both political platforms, while trying to act innocent and independent.

But unlike other creatures, frogs have short life spans. Five years at the most for them to party and to feign innocence, and then they start to evolve into other less amphibious life-forms.

Anti-hopping or frog-hopping act

Recently the Penang state government proposed an anti-hopping law to discourage frog hopping. The Selangor state government is expected to follow suit. The reason being that frog hopping is immoral, unethical and unprincipled. It is also a betrayal of the people’s trust. It is a very noble idea that should have the endorsement of the entire Malaysian government but surprise, surprise! There are a lot of opposition towards it, especially from the BN government.

Gerakan is dead set against the idea, citing that it is unconstitutional. What?! Frogs also have constitutional rights? The minority politician’s rights must be protected even though it goes against the rights of the majority rakyat who voted them in?

MCA president Dr Chua Soi Lek, meanwhile, condemned DAP for the proposal and reminded the latter that Pakatan parties have often relied on political defections to gain electoral power.

So wouldn’t such an act protect BN from further abuses?

In fact, the whole government including Dr Mahathir Mohamad is against such a preposterous idea. But wouldn’t this new law benefit the ruling government? Without frog hopping, BN gets to keep its spoils instead of having to share, or engage in the repulsive act of kissing these repugnant frogs to turn them into princes and princesses.

Why do frogs hop?

Must the rakyat be reminded of the fact that voting in these politicians is at their own risk, and is not a guarantee that politicians would keep their feet on the ground or suddenly change their political views overnight?

Now, why would these BN politicians be so against the noble idea of an anti-party hopping law? How can we allow these immoral, unethical and unprincipled frogs to party the whole night long, hopping from one party to another like “pub crawling” while croaking away like fools in a karaoke joint?

Why is it that in some countries like Malaysia, politicians get to hop like frogs at the expense of the electorate? Why do frogs treat the rakyat like flies ready to be devoured with the flick of a tongue and in the blink of an eye?

Why must politicians protect their right to jump at the slightest pressure? Aren’t they aware that their bosses are the people who voted them in, and gave them the mandate to protect and secure the people’s rights? Why must they protest at the thought of losing their seats, if they jump? Try picturing a frog jumping with one hand holding on to his rickety chair?

It is not like the straight, disciplined and honest politicians in BN who are considering making the hyper jump to the opposition in the first place, so why are they suddenly so concerned and caring about the rights of the opposition leaders who may evolve into amphibians after the elections?

Would such a noble law eradicate their amphibious right to hop in search of better pastures? Mahathir is right when he jokingly said: “If they are born in the year of the frog, they will jump lah!”

It is such a complicated matter, that we the simple layman will never know what goes on in the heads of these purported “intellectually sane” politicians.

It is not even like a political circus with animals to entertain us, that Malaysians are lamenting about; but with the addition of insects and amphibians, it’s beginning to sound more like a flea circus.

A tour guide, trained pilot and naturalist, Iskandar Dzulkarnain has been writing a few years now.

[main photo by Muhammad Azrol Ali]